Improving Social-Emotional Outcomes Starts with Understanding the “Why” Behind a Child’s Social-Emotional Struggles

Social interactions are inherently complex things. One must properly understand and interpret the environment, pick up nuances of how this setting differs from other ones, call upon one’s (hopefully accurate) database of prior social experiences, make a correct prediction about how others might respond to one action versus another, manage social anxieties and other dysregulating factors that undermine our judgment and control the impulse to take unhelpful actions and instead execute on the best course identified—all in the blink of an eye.

Just as with other aspects of our program, we believe that in order to help students achieve better social-emotional outcomes, we must start by understanding where in this process things are going awry—and then put together a customized program to address those gaps and build up those skills. This begins with a cross-disciplinary analysis of how a given child’s social, emotional, cognitive and neurophysiological profile might be affecting their behavior or ability to regulate their own actions and emotions within a given setting.

Improving children’s social-emotional outcomes requires that we set aside our own assumptions about why they do what they do

Our social-emotional programming starts from the premise that children’s behaviors are outward manifestations of how they experience the world—not necessarily an intentioned act calculated to avoid tasks or secure attention. Rather, we view aberrant behavioral moments as windows into the problems that a child needs our help to solve.

To give an example, it’s only logical that children who don’t intuitively pick up and properly interpret social rules are likely to be breaking them—yet there isn’t a strong awareness of this in our cultural or in our media. This becomes particularly problematic for the very bright cohort of kids that we serve, whose social cognition challenges are more likely to be interpreted as “behavior problems” by well-meaning but ill-informed teachers, coaches, parents and peers who mistakenly assume that these kids will “just get it” because of their high aptitude in other areas. This misses a key opportunity to address the problem—while adding shame to the confusion and anxiety a child may already be feeling about their social interactions.

Hidden neurophysiological events can have a big impact on a child’s outwardly-observable functioning

Looking deeper, neuropsychological research reveals that in fact, any number of factors can alter the function of the brain in ways that drive behaviors. For instance, a child with ADHD might be overwhelmed by a chaotic environment, leading them to run about the room despite firm instructions to be still. Similarly, a child who has experienced adverse childhood experiences (from the loss of a parent to the stress or even humiliation of struggling over “simple” tasks due to an undiagnosed learning difference) might suddenly be sent into a survival state by any number of idiosyncratic and seemingly unpredictable triggering events.

Current neuroscientific research also reveals that many children’s behaviors are also influenced by a range of neurophysiological factors. Some of these are observable, like maintaining our postural control or reacting to a particular type of sensory input. Others are not—for example, children who do not regulate body temperature well may be thrown into a state of rage if they become either too hot or too cold—a problem that can be solved with an ice pack or a blanket, respectively.

Unfortunately, the connections between children’s bodies and their behaviors are not yet well-integrated into our cultural understandings about children. From teachers to parenting, adults are taught that “behaviors” indicate our children’s intents, and respond to them accordingly. These social expectations are set based on what most children can easily do most of the time as of a given age, and consequences flow accordingly. In our example, well-meaning parents and caregivers are more likely to punish the child for “throwing a tantrum” or behaving in an “unexpected” manner than they are to hand over that ice pack.

Yet for kids whose neurological development is atypical, when we impose these expectations without training them in how to improve the neurological functioning required to meet those expectations in the moment, we instead lay increase the child’s shame over their inability to meet those expectations. This does nothing to prepare them to better respond the next time, and in fact makes it even harder for them to act appropriately the next time, by entrenching triggers for a freeze, fight or flight reaction that physiologically impairs their decision-making capacity.

Solutions to social-emotional challenges must be as personalized as the challenges themselves

At Cajal Academy, we take the same iterative, 3-step approach to personalizing social-emotional learning that we apply to understanding and addressing learning challenges:

1. What Problems Does this Child Need our Help to Solve?

The first step is to identify what challenges are contributing to social-emotional struggles, and thus which problems the child needs our help to solve. This starts in the application process, with a deep dive into the current evaluations and data that are available to help us understand how strengths and weaknesses in their neuropsychological, sensory, language and other profiles may be impacting how they process information about social dynamics, and interpret and store social feedback.

Throughout a child’s time in our program, we also partner with the child through our team’s exclusive, Trauma- and Neuro-Informed Approach to coach them in how to identify factors triggers undermining their state of regulation and therefore their agency to make social decisions in the moment.

2. How can we “move the needle” for that problem?

The next step is to develop a customized program of interventions to address each of the problems identified. Gaps in social cognition are then addressed through clips from age-appropriate movies, integration into our literature and humanities curriculum, social skills games and more. Meanwhile, our multi-disciplinary team of licensed therapists develops Personalized Strategies, drawing on a mix of therapeutic approaches, that the child can use to self-monitor, self-manage and self-advocate for each of the triggers that have been identified as undermining their emotional and/or neurophysiological functioning. This coaching is integrated into all aspects of the child’s program, including academic classrooms, so that students have access to those teachings in the settings where they need them most.

3. How can we give the child agency over this process?

Cajal Academy was co-founded by a mom to two twice exceptional children who feels passionately that it is not enough that we should regulate our students and send them back to class: we have to teach them how to do that for themselves so they are empowered to thrive independently in the settings of their own choosing—be that a return to their public school district, heading off to college or in making career decisions down the road. This is a big part of our program at every stage.